The Justice League
by dysprositos
Summary: Tony has had the best Halloween costume idea in the history of Halloween costumes.


**I'm not really sure where this came from. Well, okay, it's partially inspired by a post on Tumblr. Enjoy the Halloween-themed fluff!**

**Thanks to my awesome beta irite, for betaing this super duper fast.**

**Warnings: Tony being a bit of a misogynistic jerk.**

* * *

"I'm not wearing that," Bruce said dismissively, barely glancing at the garment Tony held in his outstretched hand. "I don't do spandex. Or...costumes. Tony, I'm a physicist, not a...what is that even supposed to be?"

"Oh, c'mon, doc, have some Halloween spirit," Tony goaded, ignoring Bruce's question. Halloween was, in his opinion, the absolute best holiday of the year. Largely because there were a lot of parties, with a lot of booze, and a lot of scantily clad women. Not that he, uh, cared about that stuff anymore.

Anyway, this year it was going to be even better, because he'd had the absolute best costume idea in the history of costume ideas.

Now he just had to sell everyone else on it.

"Would you wear that?" Bruce asked, finally glancing up from his computer screen and pushing his glasses up his nose. "Honestly?"

"Damn right I would," Tony affirmed enthusiastically, clutching the costume to his chest protectively. "Look, it's a stupid holiday, but it's fun. And fun is good, right? You know, Pepper was saying that she really thought you needed to get out some, maybe relax. She thinks you work too hard, and she'd really like it if you, you know, lived a little. Besides, it's just one night, right?"

It was kind of a dirty trick, bringing Pepper into this. While it was true that she thought Bruce did work too hard, and she _did _think he needed to take some time off, she certainly never would have thought to advise him to partake in Tony's costumed adventure.

"Huh," Bruce muttered, glancing again at the costume in question more closely. "And...you think it'll actually fit?"

"It fit me," Tony said. Which was true, he'd tried it on, mostly for his own amusement.

"And everyone else is doing it?"

"Yeah," Tony flat-out lied. Although it wasn't _really_ a lie, everyone else _would_ be doing it, he just had to talk to them first. "Even Thor. It'll be funny, trust me."

Bruce still looked dubious, but he gave a tiny nod. "Fine. I'll think about it."

Tony grinned. One down, four to go.

* * *

"You're kidding me," Steve said, frowning. He grabbed a towel off a nearby rack and wiped the sweat on his face.

Tony held up the costume, sizing Steve up. "I'm pretty sure it'll fit you."

"That's not—Tony. Don't you think it's a little...audacious? I mean, I thought we were trying to keep a low profile. I don't really want to be in the public eye."

Tony shrugged. He'd never tried to keep a low profile in his life. "Look, I know it seems a little weird, but think of it as a team building exercise or something, I don't know. Besides, I hate to break it to you, but your face is already all over the place, buddy."

Steve looked skeptical, so Tony added, "You know how much Fury wants us all to play nice together." Which was 100% true, although Tony didn't figure that Fury would support his current endeavor in any way, shape, or form. The Director didn't seem like the type for Halloween fun. Or fun at all. Ever.

At that, Steve's frown deepened. But he gave a terse, "Fine. You said everyone else has already agreed?"

"Yup!" Tony replied, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I even got Bruce to play."

"Fine," Steve repeated. "Just let me know when, okay?"

"Will do, Cap," Tony said.

Two down, three to go.

* * *

Thor was easy, though Tony first had to explain the entire concept of Halloween and costumes. After that, though, it wasn't hard to sell Thor on the idea.

"It sounds as if it will be most entertaining," he said, glancing briefly at the costume Tony held out to him before tossing it aside. "Now, you say there will also be a party..."

* * *

"No," Natasha stated flatly. She slammed the door in Tony's face.

Tony knew better than to ask again.

But he wasn't going to give up yet.

* * *

"What's in it for me?" Clint asked, eyeing the costume in Tony's right hand.

"Well," Tony started. "There'll be free food. And booze."

Clint tilted his head. "Tempting. What else?"

Tony asked cautiously, "What do you want?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet. But I'm sure I'll think of something."

"No way, Legolas. I'm not giving you some undefined, soon-to-be-called-in favor. Because you'll abuse that, and I'm not going to give you that kind of power."

"Look, Stark, I didn't say no, did I? And if I'm going to look like an idiot in public, I'd like to get something for it. Aside from the free food and booze. Which, let's be honest, I was going to get anyway."

"Fair enough," Tony agreed. "Fine. But I'm not buying you an island or something like that."

"Agreed," Clint said. "And you've already managed to get everyone else in on this?"

And now, Tony could be honest. "Yeah, not quite. Romanoff's holding out."

Clint glanced at the other outfit Tony was carrying around. "That what you wanted her to wear?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, no. No way she would go for that." Clint looked pensively at the costumes. "I think I can get her to budge. It might take some work, but honestly, I'd do just about anything to see Rogers and Thor in their getups. I mean, you wouldn't think it could get much more ridiculous than what they usually wear, right?"

Tony nodded. That was a large part of his motivation for this as well. "You'll work on Romanoff?"

"Yeah. It might take...sacrifices, but I think I can get her to see things your way."

He was more than welcome to try; she was far less likely to gut her partner than Tony for doing so. "Great. See you at the party, then."

And Tony bounced off to finalize the plans for the party.

* * *

The night of the party, Tony put his costume on, taking a moment to chuckle at his styrofoam abs. He adjusted the cowl over his face and hooked his cape onto his shoulders. Then, looking in the mirror, he said in a deep, raspy voice, "I'm Batman."

"No, you're ridiculous," Pepper informed him, coming into their bedroom. "And you look silly. How did you get the others to agree to this?"

Tony shrugged. "Lying and manipulation, mostly. But it's going to be hilarious."

Pepper sighed. "If you say so." Then, with a mischievous smile, "Make sure you get pictures. I want to see Bruce."

"Will do," Tony replied. He leaned up for a kiss. "You're coming to the party, though, right?"

"Probably, but I might have to miss it if this dinner runs late," Pepper said, lips meeting Tony's. She broke away from the kiss and grabbed her handbag off a chair. "I'll try to make it, though."

With a final kiss, she was gone. Tony looked in the mirror again, adjusted his costume (his utility belt kept falling down) and then he, too, made his way out the door.

The first person he ran into on his way down to the ballroom was Steve. His costume was quite similar to Tony's, except instead of black and yellow, it was red and blue.

"Looking good, Superman," Tony greeted him, tugging Steve's cape.

Steve nervously adjusted the top of his costume. Tony was dismayed to see that Steve did not require any of the foam padding to fill out his costume. Goddamn super soldiers.

"Hey," Steve said. "Where's the party again?"

"Ballroom downstairs, come on."

The next person they encountered was Thor, in the elevator. Or, rather, the Green Lantern, who happened to be carrying Mjolnir.

It was...an interesting juxtaposition.

"Friends!" Thor greeted them exuberantly. "It is a fine night for a masquerade!"

"Tony," Steve murmured, "Does he even know who he's dressed up as?"

Tony shrugged. "Is it really important?" Then, to Thor, he said, "Damn right it is. We're gonna rock this thing."

The three of them made their way to towards the ballroom. Just outside the doors, they encountered Bruce, looking extraordinarily uncomfortable in his red spandex suit.

"Tony," Bruce muttered, "My abs are made of styrofoam." He tugged at the red cowl over his face. "And I can't see."

"Join the club," Tony replied, adjusting his mask. "And as for the abs, well," he jerked his head at Steve and Thor, "Not all of us have a superhero's physique, despite being superheroes." He glanced around. Throngs of costumed guests were streaming by, but not the ones he was looking for. "Anyone seen our Aquaman and Wonder Woman?"

"Over here," came Natasha's cheerful voice.

Tony turned, and promptly choked.

"Don't say a word," Clint muttered. "I_ told_ you it might take sacrifices to get her here."

"Right," Tony answered. "But, uh, this kind of defeats the purpose of having her here." He paused, then added, "Not that you're not a really, uh, great Wonder Woman, Barton, I just kinda hoped..."

"That you'd get to ogle my ass in that costume," Natasha interrupted. "I know." She glanced down at her Aquaman costume. "This one suits me better, I think."

Tony wasn't stupid enough to disagree with her. "Uh, right. Okay. Good. Everyone's here. We ready to go?"

At their chorus of affirmatives, Tony led the group into the ballroom. It was his party, and they were damn well going to make a dramatic entrance.

* * *

As was so often the case after one of Tony Stark's parties, the tabloids had a field day the next morning.

It was obvious that Tony Stark had been Batman. Thor and Captain America were easy to pick out as well, and the image of the All-American Captain dressed up as the world's most famous superhero was delightful all around. The Flash, they were able to discern if only from his massive awkwardness, was Dr. Bruce Banner, one of Tony Stark's known associates.

The best photos, though, were of the very drunk, very manly Wonder Woman that was Clint Barton.

* * *

Oddly enough, no one was able to get a photograph of Aquaman...

**Review if you're so inclined. And Happy Halloween!**


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